General information
There are several types of swinger clubs. Some clubs are only open to couples, other clubs also offer access to singles (M/F).
There are two types of clubs in the United States: off-premises and on-premises clubs. An on-premises club is a club that owns or rents its own facilities (often an adapted residence). You can visit during the club's opening hours. Usually, such a club has a meeting room or a social room, where people can meet and then go to one of the other rooms for sex.
An off-premises club organizes meetings on a specific day and time and at a specific location. Here, the guests can enjoy the atmosphere of a planned party where there is often less emphasis on sex.
Each club has its own clients, atmosphere, music and door policy. Many clubs also organize theme evenings, like 'bi-evenings' or evenings where a lot of action is expected. Some clubs have a dress code starting at a specific time.
For more information about a specific club, please check the club's Web site first.
Clothing and dress code
"What should I wear?" is a question frequently asked by people who are visiting a swingers' club for the first time.
The best thing to wear is well-kept, comfortable or sexy clothing, which makes you feel at ease. Hiking boots, lumberjack shirts or torn jeans don't fit very well in a club's erotic atmosphere. A nice dress or skirt for the ladies and black pants with a nice shirt or T-shirt for the men is always good.
In some clubs dress code time starts after a certain time, this means that all outerwear is stored in lockers (that are usually provided) and people only wear lingerie. Of course, large underpants aren't sexy and clean lingerie without holes is appreciated.
The first time
The first time you visit a club is very exciting. Most couples have questions like: Who will be there? Will we fit in? What is expected of us? Is sex required? And much more...
When you visit a club, there are certain things which will make that first step easier:
- The Golden Rule always and everywhere is: "No is No." In a swingers' club, too, everything is voluntary. You yourselves decide what you want and don't want to do. Sex is not mandatory, never!
- Carefully select the club where you will go for your first visit. Talk it over with other swingers, read all information on the Web site, etc. Especially consider what type of club you want to visit: couples-only or one that also admits singles.
- Wear comfortable clothes that make you feel self-confident and sexy. Take along an extra set of clothing or lingerie in case you have misgivings. Most clubs offer a place where you can change clothes in peace and quiet.
- Reach a clear understanding together about your limits. Better to set too many limits the first time and together discover that you want to go a step further the next time, than regretting afterwards some of the things you did.
- Never try to convince each other to do something that the other person really doesn't want to do (yet). In the club you should be able to trust each other completely.
- The first time in a club you will be hit by so many things and impressions that it is often impossible to quietly talk things over with each other. Keep close track of each other to make sure that you both still are enjoying yourselves and feel good about the things that are going on. If necessary, agree on a gesture or sign for certain situations.
- If you don't feel comfortable approaching a couple or if you are touched at a moment or a place that you don't like, show that. You can do that by friendly but decidedly: saying "No thanks" or quietly pushing away a hand.
- Remember that you are definitely not the only couple feeling uncertain or uncomfortable that evening.